X Is For eXamine What You Tolerate
Yes, I slipped a little silent e in to help me with my A-Z theme – I hope you’ll forgive me, as this is a subject I really wanted to cover, and X feels like the time to do it, before I get to the end and realise it’s been overlooked.
It’s very easy in 21st Century living to find yourself being put upon – whether that be with one too many favour, expectation of you giving your time to volunteer with projects, or a relationship becoming one-sided. It’s really easy to find yourself slipping into a space where you are being run ragged, yet not achieving much for yourself. Sound familiar?
Now I’m not suggesting that you stop giving your time and energy to people and projects that you love – following your passion can bring you to a hugely Mindful state, with great ease. But I do think that we should all take time to look at where our focus is going, and ask ourselves if it serves us.
There may be some friendships and relationships that call for a high investment from time to time, maybe someone you love needs support with a specific project, or a friend is poorly and you are helping out for a while. But if you are involved in relationships that continually put demands on you, then maybe you need to look at whether these are healthy and positive for you… That can be tough.
Yet to allow ourselves to develop a Mindfulness Mindset involves turning our attention to what we are experiencing in the here and now, and if those are regularly hurtful situations, ‘negative’ emotions, or high, unrealistic expectations, then life in the moment can become a drain which we want to escape.
If this resonates with you because you have people or situations in your life that are draining you at the moment, you don’t have to turn tail and just walk away, but it is worth examining them in more detail and thinking about what is holding you there. You could try listing the positive things that they have brought to your life over the last 6 months – if there aren’t any then maybe it’s time to put distance between you, and if there are maybe you want to ask yourself if you can take a step back in some other way.
Taking time to allow yourself to be Mindful of the relationships you have in your life, and how those affect your time and energy can be challenging! But it can also allow you to build firm alliances based on mutuality and reciprocation long-term. There will always be times when people will not treat us as we would wish, and that’s where we have to seek to forgive and understand their emotions. Many times that’s ok… but sometimes it’s not. Don’t forget to examine what you tolerate.